Why Are We Afraid To Feel

I would rather learn what it feels like to burn than nothing at all

I get told by multiple friends that I fall too deep and too hard in love. It consumes me like a bad habit you can’t shake. They always tell me to take it slow but I’ve never been one follow others. Instead of dipping my toes with caution, I jump feet first into relationships. I always end up getting hurt and I know that’s why they try to protect me with their advice. 

I have a counter for them though- why are you so cautious? Isn’t part of life falling down and getting back up? Every relationship gives you new experiences. If you aren’t completely raw and vulnerable with that person how will you ever grow? I’ve been told I feel too much and am too sensitive. I wear my heart on my sleeve and everyone knows it. I’m not ashamed, nor will I change. Our generation has a sour taste about relationships and how they should be. We’re people who don’t make moves. Lazy. Unmotivated. Too cool. Judgmental. We are constantly waiting for something better to come along that we miss what’s right in front of us. If you’re always waiting, you’ll miss out on something that could potentially be life changing. 

All relationships aren’t meant to last forever. People come and go and change like seasons (and sometimes as quick as Texas weather). You go to bed as one person happy and satisfied and wake up as another. Constantly wondering if this is as good as it gets. You feel unfulfilled and as if something is missing. 
I understand my friends caution to “not get too close to people because they will only hurt you,” but can’t they see my side of how wonderful life can be sharing it with someone you love. I was in love once. It was the realist thing I’ve ever felt. I was completely and utterly consumed by him. He was someone I could talk to about anything and laugh with. But not just a regular laugh. It was deep-in-my-gut, stomach-hurting, can’t-breathe kind of laughing. It was great until it wasn’t. But during that time I was the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. I wouldn’t take back a single emotion of how I felt. It was the first time I truly felt like I was on cloud 9. I thought it was a myth all this time. Now I know it exists and can only get better.

Love isn’t an emotion everyone has felt. I learned so much from that relationship than I have in all others. We need to stop being this robot without emotions. So what if we get hurt. Sometimes the risk is worth the fall. 

1 Comment

  1. Zach
    June 20, 2015 / 12:47 am

    To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.
    C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

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