This morning I woke up feeling different. Full of love and forgiveness. More than usual. Maybe it was the text I received filling me with words of encouragement, maybe it’s the fact I’m leaving for California tomorrow, or simply because I’ve been working out. Either way I feel extremely blessed.
I’ve spent a lot of time recently trying to find my inner self and the utopia of happiness I’ve been longing to get back to. I realized I spent too much time looking at the past and was missing out on what’s in front of me. I was trying to get to a happiness I felt two years ago when I was at my lowest. You can not compare them. It’s a different happiness. Contentment. Something a lot of people don’t get to experience in their lifetime.
Today is my mother’s birthday. We’ve had a rocky relationship ever since I can remember and I let her go a long time ago. I didn’t realize growing up that there may be something psychologically wrong. Whether there is or isn’t, but most likely is, people are only able to do their best from their level of awareness. I realize she doesn’t have a capacity to see the pain shes caused, or even the big picture. She is only capable of living in the now. With this new-found knowledge I am able to let go of the past and move forward. I can love her for who she is today. Each day is a new day. You can choose to carry yesterday’s baggage into a new day or you can hit the refresh button and make every day as positive as possible. When I get caught up in the negativity, I like to take a step back, take a deep breath, and say 3 things I am grateful for.
My hope is to help someone and come from a different perspective. Maybe the person you are struggling with is dealing with demons bigger than your level of awareness. All we can do is love people. When they resist and even when we feel like they don’t deserve it, that is when when we need to love them harder.
1 Corinthians 16:14
“Everything should be done in love.”