If you have followed me since the beginning then you have heard me use the term Twin Flames. It’s a concept that has become widely talked about in the past few years and is pretty controversial given you have to have an open mind and an abstract thought process to grasp the concept.
In my “research” I have found that twin flame relationships are very tumultuous and don’t really work out. I choose to be the eternal optimist and hopeful that they could.
What is a twin flame? A twin flame is one soul broken into two halves that is then placed into two different bodies. Did I lose you? It’s not Scientology, although sounds oddly similar lol. Everyone has a twin flame but it’s whether you meet them in this lifetime that is the question. Sometimes it takes multiple life cycles for you to sync up and for your souls to connect. I thought it was only right to share this story here, on my blog, as most of my posts are me trying to rationalize my feelings after my twin flame and I departed. It was the catalyst that turned my world upside down– in the best way possible. It highlighted every crack, every insecurity, every wound I had not yet healed, and the emotional immaturity in myself. It was the mirror I was forced to face. I was him and he was me. We were one.
The relationship was silly and childlike. I felt as though I was in a constant dreamland asking to be pinched but all the while never wanting to wake up. I felt whole and like I was home. For the first time, I could breathe as time stood still.
Now, it is my favorite story to tell. It’s my safe place. It’s the deepest, most sacred part of me. I reminisce when I need an escape. It’s the place I go to feel the deepest emotions; to feel the warmth of love, and to truly be seen when I feel invisible.
My nostalgia gets me into trouble most times because the memories can feel so real in the moment. And sure, they were at one point, but not anymore. When I feel this way, I try to allow myself to feel all of the emotions I need to heal whatever wound is left so I can create space for new things– new love.
So that being said, I’ll walk you through the stages of a twin flame relationship.
Seeking:
Before you meet your twin flame, you feel as though something is missing. Like a part of you is floating around aimlessly and calling you to find it. You may feel numb inside or on auto-pilot. You may feel as though your life doesn’t really have a purpose and you feel lost, confused, and in constant search of something greater.
Awakening:
When you meet it feels like the most intense magnets pulling towards each other. You may hear a word or phrase, have a vision, have a spiritual download, or words flash across your mind. The room feels small and like a camera is just zoomed in on you two going in circles floating on a cloud. You or your twin flame could be glowing or have an intense aura about them. You will feel like you know their every move, met them before in a past life, and that you both have loved one another before. It can be all-consuming. You have mutual respect for one another and a catalyst occurs. Your twin flame is your mirror meant to awaken you spiritually, emotionally, physically– in every way, shape, or form possible.
The Test:
Your relationship will be put through some kind of test. It will either make or break you, and not to burst your bubble, but most of the time it breaks you.
Crisis:
All good things must come to an end it seems. There will be some crisis or something dramatic that will happen that will send you two on separate life paths. To grow together, you must grow individually. You will keep in contact from time to time, have a radar to know when each person is finally happy, feel what they go through– even apart. Your paths will cross or mirror each other one way or another. Also, I personally think you will constantly look for one another in each partner you choose thereafter.
Runner & Chaser:
The classic cat and mouse. If the rest of the saga wasn’t annoying yet here’s where it picks up. This back and forth, push and pull, can last ages. There is always one who runs from the emotions, and metaphorically himself, and there will always be one who chases because they intuitively know the relationship is worth fighting for. These roles can switch between both parties. One person can be all in and then once they have “convinced” the other to hop on board they jump ship. Our ego gets in the way of great things. When we speak or act out of ego, we can be forced to do things out of character and even self-sabotage. The cycle won’t end until both parties shed insecurities, baggage, and emotional immaturity that is needed to come back together as one; as they are meant to be. Sometimes the twin flame relationship stops here. You need more lives and to learn more lessons until you can progress in your relationship.
Surrender:
Once you have reached the surrender phase, and I so hope you do, you become… almost enlightened. You have grown exponentially at such an accelerated rate that the outcome doesn’t matter at this point. You will learn to cherish the memories of your past self. You might even astral project through your dreams to have conversations with your twin flame (which could happen at any of these phases) to tie up loose ends, hash out a conversation, etc. The twin flame bond can not be broken. During this phase, you both will release control over the relationship and become more accepting of the individual and ultimately yourself. After all, you are a mirror. I believe the more you accept yourself, love yourself, build a relationship with yourself, you can reflect that love back to others.
Reunion:
If and when you get to the reunion phase, you will understand the challenges of everything you had to go through was working for the greater good to shed the baggage and for you to become the person you were always meant to be. You will feel as though balance has been restored to your lives and an overwhelming sense of peace.
Whatever phase you are in on your twin flame journey, this I know is true: the relationship with yourself is absolutely crucial to your purpose. People come and go– kindred spirits, soulmates, twin flames, friends… but you, you are forever. You can’t fight fate, but my best advice is to focus on your life, your goals, your passions because they are all a part of the cause.
I will leave you with my favorite excerpt from The Alchemist.
“It was the pure Language of the World. It required no explanation, just as the universe needs none as it travels through endless time. What the boy felt at that moment was that he was in the presence of the only woman in his life, and that, with no need for words, she recognized the same thing. He was more certain of it than of anything in the world. He had been told by his parents and grandparents that he must fall in love and really know a person before becoming committed. But maybe people who felt that way had never learned the universal language. Because, when you know that language, it’s easy to understand that someone in the world awaits you, whether it’s in the middle of the desert or in some great city. And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one’s dreams would have no meaning.”